ENOUGH! Time to Laugh!

OK, I’m so over this China Virus baloney. I’m sick and tired. Well, I’m not sick, but I’m definitely tired of being tired. As a self-imposed CCP (let’s be clear here – in this case, it means “Chronic Couch Potato”), it seems as if I never stop eating and have gained A LOT of weight. I have joint pain, feel like a slug, and frankly don’t like myself very much right now. I acknowledge that it’s all of my own doing and recognize that feeling so low is my own responsibility. As my mom would say, “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” [Umm…mom…what are bootstraps?”]

OK. I guess I’ll have to get some boots then. The kind with straps. Plastic or leather? Hmmm, I’m not sure how to even follow that advice; seems like a real tipping point, so to speak. Well, all this in order to introduce the real subject of this blog. Her bootstrap phrase reminds me of the time I was washing dishes and had some difficulty getting a nasty pan clean. She advised me to “Use some Elbow Grease“. I pushed aside all the boxes, bottles and cans of cleansers and other miscellaneous stuff underneath the sink, but I absolutely could not locate anything labeled Elbow Grease. We must be out. I guess she didn’t know. I added it to the shopping list.

I rarely understood mom’s idioms because they held no meaning for me. How is a 10-year-old supposed to interpret these nonsensical phrases? Maybe that’s the point; they’re code for use by adults only. Then little kids won’t know what the heck the grownups are talking about. Sort of like us using cursive these days.

Idioms

Here are a few idiomatic dialogue examples, as found in a quick and simple search of the Internet:

1. Cool as a cucumber. Meaning: calm and composed, especially in stressful situations. Example: She was as cool as a cucumber during her job interview.
2. Hold your horses. Meaning: wait a minute; be patient. Example: He still has to shower before we can leave — hold your horses.
3. Kick the bucket. Meaning: to die. Example: Many people want to travel the world before they kick the bucket.
4. Blue in the face. Meaning: exhausted from great, generally futile, effort. Example: You can beg until you’re blue in the face, but you’re not having ice cream for dinner.
5. Head in the clouds. Meaning: oblivious or having unrealistic ideas. Example: He has his head in the clouds if he thinks he can pass his test without studying.
6. Dead as a doornail. Meaning: to be completely devoid of life. Example: I forgot to water my flowers, and now they’re as dead as a doornail.
7. Piece of cake. Meaning: very easy to do or accomplish. Example: She was nervous about her driving test, but it ended up being a piece of cake.
8. Out of the blue. Meaning: randomly or unexpectedly. Example: My grandmother came to visit out of the blue.
9. Raining cats and dogs. Meaning: raining extremely heavily. Example: We can’t go to the park today because it’s raining cats and dogs.
10. Cat got your tongue? Meaning: unable to speak or think of something to say. Example: You’re being very quiet. Cat got your tongue?
11. It’s all Greek to me. Meaning: something incomprehensible or hard to understand. Example: I’ve tried learning the rules to basketball, but it’s all Greek to me.
12. Pardon my French. Meaning: please excuse my profanity. Example: Pardon my French, but I’ve had a hell of a day.
13. Under the weather. Meaning: feeling slightly unwell. Example: Billy stayed home from school today because he was under the weather.
14. Chew the fat. Meaning: have a long, leisurely conversation; make small talk; gossip casually. Example: After running into a childhood friend, we chewed the fat over a cup of coffee.
15. Neck of the woods. Meaning: a specific neighborhood or area. Example: That man used to be my neighbor. He’s from my neck of the woods.
16. Thick as thieves. Meaning: very close friends. Example: My teammates and I are as thick as thieves.
17. Throw a monkey wrench in the works. Meaning: create an obstacle that makes something more difficult. Example: She threw a monkey wrench in the works by bringing a guest to my wedding without asking.
18. Pot calling the kettle black. Meaning: be hypocritical; criticize someone for something you’re guilty of. Example: You think I’m messy? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
19. When pigs fly. Meaning: something that is unlikely to happen, often said mockingly. Example: Doctors will recommend all-dessert diets when pigs fly.
20. Put a sock in it. Meaning: telling someone to stop talking or be quiet. Example: The whole movie theater can hear you whispering so put a sock in it.

Please refer back to Idiom #11. Yes. Still. At this point in my life.

Eventually I learned what most of this gobbledygook meant. Please allow me a little divergence here regarding jargon. Another one that my mom used is: “Pretty is as pretty does”. Used repeatedly, this one finally convinced me when I was little that I must not be so pretty only because apparently – in retrospect – I was acting like a kid. [Ref.: “Taming Josh’s Dragon”, Chapter 8, Page 41, second paragraph, where I say, “Josh, knock it off, you’re acting like a kid!” His response and mine back to him – now that is how you raise a kid!]. See Amazon, “Taming Josh’s Dragon”; link to my Amazon page below:

https://smile.amazon.com/Taming-Joshs-Dragon-Mothers-Brief-ebook/dp/B0837HWXS9/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=debbie+sumner&qid=1619880528&sr=8-1

Anyway, I’ve been fighting that “Pretty” one for a long time. My bottom line: You’ve GOT to love yourself first and foremost. For me, this took a lifetime to learn, absorb, relearn, reinforce and go back and do it all again. Not that my mom was a bad mom. She did the best she could and the best she knew how. She taught me how I wanted to be and how not to be, with my future children. Life’s Lessons are all over the place, if you just recognize, acknowledge and are willing to utilize them to your advantage. Although there is free will, we agreed to all this before we came down here. But, hold on – this is fodder for another blog ; to me, reincarnation is a perfect explanation of so many, and perhaps all, mystifying things in life!

OK, back to it: In the beginning, you thought this was a blog about “The Virus”? Surprise!! This one is designed to make you laugh about, chuckle at, or at the very least ruminate on those darn maxims our parents and grandparents plied. Have we incorporated any into our speech to use them as our own? We really need some laughs right about now, considering what’s going on around us, correct?

What strange sayings did you hear throughout your childhood that thoroughly confounded you and perhaps still do? Share them here so we all can all sound off with a loud guffaw and / or belly laugh.