For Your Own Well-Being, Push the Psychic Vampires Aside
I recently had a conversation with a friend. We were talking about his 18-year-old and some of the astounding life-challenges teens face these days. A lot of crazy stuff is happening (yes, astonishingly being permitted…encouraged?) in schools that we not only didn’t have to deal with at that age but never in a million years could have imagined. I have difficulty believing some of the things I have heard. As a high school student, it is challenging to be in school, much less deal with a classmate treating you like a second-class citizen, especially one you had considered a “friend.” I believe these are false friends who will not hesitate to betray others.
I think those people never were true friends, as you have learned and will continue to learn as you navigate through school and beyond. They have low self-esteem, most likely experience self-hatred, don’t know how to love themselves, and resent their peers who refuse to follow the sheep or may seem to have it figured out. They believe demeaning others will elevate their emotional state and perhaps increase their status with the delusional bullies they surround themselves with. Unbeknownst to them, it probably does just the reverse. Do these people stick with that “dark” crowd for protection, to fit in, to feel better about themselves, and maybe to feel part of a group? This is despite the emotional sacrifices they make to be a small fragment of a morally twisted collection of people. I like to call this collection of individuals Psychic Vampires. They suck the very energy out of you, leaving you weakened, confused, and angry.
At my job a few years ago, I was dismayed that some people blithely carry these behaviors well into adulthood; I’m talking about 30, 40, and 50 years old. Sad, right? Clueless. Above all, we need to to love and respect ourselves as well as others. However, that is difficult to do while demeaning and humiliating each other.
If only we could explain to our kids that they can expect to have very few good and loyal friends in life and if they learn to trust their gut (intuition). They will eventually be able (amazingly) to recognize who those people are. Those good people are trustworthy, honest, reliable, and worthy of our friendship; cherish them.
I’m sorry this has happened to you, but I have learned that those “others” do not deserve our time and energy; we must reserve that for our faithful friends! The others need to be eliminated from our circle, no longer worth the time to think about or stress over. Would they be pleased to know how their behavior hurts you and weighs heavy on you? So…it is time to rid yourself of that unnecessary burden. It is behind you and should be considered a valuable lesson, yes, a learning experience, and more knowledge in your tool kit to be pulled out, referred to, and recalled when needed. Do not fear the dark side…
As for me, I can’t…no, I won’t allow anyone to have that negative, spiritually low vibrational influence on me. How about you? Take back your power; mentally push away the unnecessary drain on your emotional, mental, spiritual, and especially your physical health. Visualize a beautiful protective bubble surrounding you, and imagine all the negativity bouncing off your bubble. They will indeed be surprised, perhaps distressed, to learn they can no longer affect you in any way. Maybe we should have compassion for those who just don’t get it.
Again, TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!
Comforting Words and Actions for Parents and by Parents After the Loss of a Child
In this article, I speak from deep within my heart and have inserted personal experiences into this story.
At age fifteen, I lost my son, Josh, after a lifetime of battling his congenital lung disease, double lung transplant at age 13, loads of medications, multiple hospital admissions, and so much more.
There is not much you can say to make this loss better. Saying things like, “You’ll get over it,” “Give it time,” and “I know how you must feel” just won’t do it. As an acquaintance, a friend, or a relative, you want to make it better and “fix it.” Sadly, there is no fixing this horrendous experience, a parent’s worst nightmare. The best thing, in my opinion, is to be there, to check in, not only in the first days or weeks but continuing at intervals for the coming months. Our grief does not end after a week or a month. We would welcome, “I’m here for you.” “What do you need?” “Can I take you to lunch?” “Let’s go for a walk.” “I’m thinking about you.” Grieving parents: comforting words come from without and from within, so we need to remember to speak kindly to ourselves, living gently through our ongoing and long-lasting grief and on eventually, to the healing.
Occasionally, there is that toxic “friend” (you know who they are) that you’ll simply need to drop. Especially at this time in your journey, you do not need or want negativity. It is critical at this time, more than ever, that we maintain positive, upbeat people surrounding us.
Just to know you are there, thinking about me, supporting me, talking, or listening to and sharing my beautiful memories is the best that can be done. This was the most helpful. However, despite all that, after five or six months, no one knew that I had to give up. No one knew that I was contemplating going into the garage and starting the car, that I wanted so badly to “go.” No one knew how much pain I was still in or could tell me how long it might last, nor at this point did I care.
I had been prescribed some medication but hated its side effects. I met several times with a psychologist who, God Bless her, had also lost a son. In the end, after jumping through lots of hoops, I suddenly realized that Josh “would kick my butt” if I crossed over under those circumstances. Those were literally the words in my head. After much confusion and being clueless about how to proceed, I finally accepted that I had to stay and learn what to do with this life-altering Life Experience. I had to have a purpose, find meaning from this loss. With that acceptance, it gradually became clear that I needed to help others and honor Josh’s memory in doing so.
My Aunt, My Second Mama
We just lost the eldest member of our clan yesterday, the last of nine siblings, the last of her generation. My Aunt Ethel had turned 102 in January; it’s not like this was unexpected, but it is still painful. Her memory carries many beautiful and unforgettable recollections with it.
I would go to my Uncle Virg’s 90-acre dairy farm in Ohio every summer when I was young. My three cousins and I would take turns every other morning, two of us rising very early, doing the milking and other barn chores as Uncle Virg also worked at Tappan to supplement their income. Aunt Ethel, I felt, had the most challenging job…more on this later.
What glorious summers those were! It seemed that each summer, there would be a slightly different assemblage of animals on the farm. There might be a mix of pigs, geese, rabbits, pigeons, sheep, goats, but always the cows, a pony, and chickens. A note about the goats: apparently, they didn’t last too long on the farm because after escaping from the field, Aunt Ethel caught them ravaging her flower beds and climbing all over the new car. I suspect they made a few good meals a very short time after that. For another blog about the farm, see: https://www.tamingjoshsdragon.com/2020/08/24/dog-days-of-summer-warm-farm-memories/
There were the cows: how my favorite (Jenny, a sweet, gentle Holstein) loved having underneath her big jaw scratched as she stretched out her neck in pure joy. I took in the sweet aroma of her breath, smelling of the corn, oats, molasses, and whatever other “snacks” she had eaten while being milked. These cows had been 4-H calves that my cousins had raised and shown at the County Fair, so they were very tame and friendly towards a “green” cousin. We would call them into the stanchion by name, and they would proceed in a calm and orderly fashion, taking their turn being milked.
Some Things You May Not Know About a Medium
The subject of Spiritualism is very interesting to me, but being such a complex topic, I know I wouldn’t have completely comprehended it if more comprehensive information had been provided to me on Day One. I can’t absorb information in that way, especially when the subject is very foreign to me as surely it must be with many people. And to be honest, I’m no expert even now, after all this time. I just know that all things Spiritual resonate with me. I believe that Spirituality (not religion) is all about improving the self and this planet; being kind to yourself and others. It is being helpful and loving others even though they may be damaged and/or angry with the world. I believe that many of us are damaged in one way or another whether or not we remember or acknowledge the source of that pain. Understanding, compassion, and empathy are essential qualities to make our way through the adversities we encounter in this life.
At this point, I would like to insert a sidebar, to perhaps clarify the difference between Religion and Spirituality. “Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.” Vine Deloria, Sioux. And a quote from Iyanla Vanzant: “Religion is the rules, regulations, ceremonies and rituals developed by man to create conformity and uniformity in the approach to God. Spirituality is God’s call in your soul.” These quotes resonate with me so deeply. I recognize and respect others’ beliefs and pray that others will afford me the same respect.
OK, let’s start at the beginning. What is a medium? Very basically, a medium is a person who facilitates communication between the living and the spirits of those who have passed on (not the dead). The body may be dead, but the soul never is. It’s important to keep in mind that we are a soul with a body, not the other way around.
A medium is able to read the energy around you or listen to “The Universe”, “The Divine”, “The Creator”, “The Almighty”, “Heavenly Father”, “God”, or another term that may resonate with you. But the medium also can expand that gift. He or she is essentially able to reach loved ones who have passed, animals, and your Spirit Guides. The goal is to bring provide you with a sense of peace, a calmness, a knowing that you are never alone, your loved one is just on the other side of the “veil” and that you will once again be together with them.
Tribute to a Phenomenal Woman
This woman, my cousin, was a phenomenal, compassionate woman.
As I sit down at the keyboard this morning, my heart is heavier than I’ve felt in the last 25 years. I have lost a woman so very important in my life, in the lives of many of my cousins and undoubtedly, her family and friends.
On Saturday, January 8th, 2022, my soul-sister, Sandy, transitioned from the physical to spirit. I recognize that the transition was much easier for her than for those of us left behind. I believe without a doubt that we have been together in many past lives, in the same Soul Group for many millennia, and in a more recent life, actual sisters. Say what you will, but I feel that truth deep in my soul. I know that the very moment she crossed the veil, the surprise in her voice startled the angels as she said, “What the hell just happened?!”
Intermittent Fasting and Its Benefits
You may have seen my previous blog published on 04/01/2021, in which case you read that I was complaining about being a lazy pandemic slug (is that a thing?). Recently realizing that about a year ago I had begun my gradual descent into a CCP (Chronic Couch Potato), I knew that it was becoming increasingly worse with each month. Well, about a month ago by chance (or was it one of my famous synchronicities?) I came across a program designed for Intermittent Fasting (IF), just the thing I needed at exactly the right time. Yes, synchronicity, indeed!
Hearing the IF term for the first time a couple years ago from a friend, as a recommendation, Intermittent Fasting was a terrifying project to contemplate. No way! Not knowing much about it at the time, I believed it was something that only a monk could do, perhaps a for day, a week or a month at a time. I put it off until now.
Research shows that fasting is a spiritual discipline that is taught in the Bible. Jesus expected His followers to fast, and He said that God rewards fasting. Fasting, according to the Bible, means to voluntarily reduce or eliminate your intake of food for a specific time and purpose. https://www.ourdestinychurch.com/fasting-prayer
Intermittent fasting exists in some other religious practices. These include the Black Fast of Christianity (commonly practiced during Lent), Vrata (Hinduism), Ramadan (Islam), Yom Kippur and other fasts (Judaism), Fast Sunday (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), Jain fasting and Buddhist fasting. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intermittent_fasting
According to Boulder Medical Center, although fasting can sometimes be challenging and uncomfortable, the mental and physical benefits can:
- Boost cognitive performance
- Protect from obesity and associated chronic diseases
- Reduce inflammation
- Improve overall fitness
- Support weight loss
- Decrease the risk of metabolic diseases
I like those benefits! Fasting is a practice that has also been associated with a wide array of potential health benefits, including weight loss, as well as improved blood sugar control, heart health, brain function and cancer prevention.
https://www.healthline.com/health/fasting-and-cancer
https://news.umiamihealth.org/en/can-intermittent-fasting-prevent-cancer/
For a deeper dive into different types of fasting, see: https://isikabla.com/2017/08/11/types-of-fasts/
Eliminating my favorite obsession/addiction, sugar, has helped me lose quickly, as well as helping to regain some energy and, well… gumption. And keeping by blood glucose levels in check. I’m not a diabetic, but have found very high levels when bingeing on an entire bag of heath bars. Yes, sugar is an addiction and some sources and studies liken it to the addiction level of opioids. I believe that! Surely there are many other sources confirming this is a “drug” to which I am hooked, but below I have attached some links supporting this theory:
https://www.webmd.com/diet/ss/slideshow-sugar-addiction
https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/sugar-addiction/
There are many more articles to be found on intermittent fasting and the treatment and prevention of cancer. Do a search on those; they are very interesting and quite thought-provoking!
Regarding the IF program I’m currently using, I am very pleased with the way this is progressing for me. In four weeks, I have dropped 15 pounds, and am feeling quite proud of my progress. I don’t have to walk around with my jeans undone and don’t have to (and refuse to) buy bigger clothes. I will be very happy to, and with significant anticipation, buy smaller ones though.
At any rate, my goal is to lose another 25. This program (DOFASTING – www.dofasting.com) provides meal suggestions, specific exercises from beginner to advanced and step goals with tracking. There are also meal and snack suggestions, documentation of the foods that you eat along with their calories, plus recommendation and tracking of your daily water intake – hydrating is very important. I weigh in every morning, entering that into the tracking record.
It feels good to see the progress even though it may only be a difference of a few ounces every day. Also offered are interesting and pertinent articles, a daily tip and emails with suggestions, recommendations and encouragement. I love it, and it keeps me involved!
I use this program – for now, only accessible on your mobile devices – synced with my FitBit, www.fitbit.com which helps to track steps, types of exercise, heart rate, calories burned, etc. Not to discount the hard work I’ve done, thankfully the chosen program fits my needs very well. You select your desired “Fasting Window” and “Eating Window”, according to your wishes and needs. I have chosen the 16/8 windows; 16 hours fasting and 8 hours eating, and have found that I quickly adjusted to these hours and gratefully, at the same time eliminated the sugar cravings.
Sugar! Just like any other drug, however, I recognize that one bite of a wonderful sugary treat will pull me back down into the nasty cravings, the muck and the self-disgust at the lack of respect for my own body and health. I have committed to be very careful about this. Please don’t offer me cake!
A wise old man once said to me something to the effect that if sugar were to be submitted today to the FDA for approval for consumption, it would promptly be deemed illegal. Whether this old man was accurate in his assessment or not, I have no idea, however in my opinion and from my perspective, it feels so correct.
At times, and more so in the past week or two, while getting involved in a project, e.g., gardening, making jewelry, golfing, blogging, etc., I can easily become side-tracked (ADHD?). Perhaps this is due to the lack of previously noted cravings, and so sometimes I miss my opening of the 9:00a.m. Eating Window, which consequently lengthens my Fasting Window. As a result, I may start eating closer to lunchtime, at 10:30 or 11a.m., and log that in as lunch. Having done that, I find I’m not hungry again until closer to 3 or 4p.m. I then log that as my supper, inadvertently avoiding additional calories. My appetite overall had noticeably decreased also. Yay! Obviously, the ultimate goal is to burn more calories than you eat. Make sense, doesn’t it?
Ultimately, this path was sorely needed for my own health – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, intellectual, and most certainly social; financial and occupational, not so much. But I was so ready for it; I just needed to take that scary first step…rather than buying new LARGER clothes.
UPDATE 5-29-21: Down 19+ lbs. This IF is working for me. Yay!
ENOUGH! Time to Laugh!
OK, I’m so over this China Virus baloney. I’m sick and tired. Well, I’m not sick, but I’m definitely tired of being tired. As a self-imposed CCP (let’s be clear here – in this case, it means “Chronic Couch Potato”), it seems as if I never stop eating and have gained A LOT of weight. I have joint pain, feel like a slug, and frankly don’t like myself very much right now. I acknowledge that it’s all of my own doing and recognize that feeling so low is my own responsibility. As my mom would say, “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” [Umm…mom…what are bootstraps?”]
100 Years Young!
When my Aunt Ethel celebrated her hundredth birthday in January of 2020, several cousins (her nieces and nephews), traveled from far and wide to her home Ohio to celebrate this amazing milestone with her, her daughter and two grandsons. Also attending were five cousins who hailed from Pennsylvania, West Virginia and as far away as New Mexico.
The Infamous Pittsburgh Expedition
Well, the whole thing was Sandy’s fault. She came up with the brilliant idea of taking our moms, (sisters Elinor, Ethel and Betty) to the ‘Burgh to visit their cousin Laura Jean Matchett, whom they hadn’t seen since Gram’s death in July, 1982. I called Candy with an invite, and so the 6 of us were in, and at this point (completely clueless regarding our destiny), very enthusiastic. Sandy and her mom, Ethel, were traveling from Mansfield, Ohio, and we coming from Warren and Erie, so we decided against a day trip, and agreed to meet Friday evening at the Comfort Inn near the Pittsburgh Airport. It was close to Jean’s house and would be a quick, easy trip (HA!) in the morning when we were all fresh <snort>. It was at this point where our wonderful, well-intentioned plans somehow began to go awry. These and the following events all took place in the short span of May 31 and June 1, 2002.
Hollyhocks and Four O’Clocks
After my mom’s divorce in the early 1950’s, we lived for a few years with my Gram and Granddad in Erie, PA, in a cottage on Kelso Drive, very near Waldameer Park. The parking lot, only two houses away from us, was hard-packed sand and we kids would go over there and sit on the ground, digging holes and tunnels in the sand. Between that last house on Kelso Drive and the parking lot was a narrow stand of trees that we called “the woods”. It provided hours of play; hide and seek, tag, and looking for Jack in the Pulpits, as well as any other games we could invent.